Trouble always seemed to find her. So, it wasn't even surprising that on her twin sister's wedding day, during a photo shoot around the city's main landmarks with the bride and groom, it was Vasilisa whose heel broke on her brand-new sandals, and it was she who, tripping, somehow managed to fall into the only puddle in the entire square. The wedding ceremony at "Prince Igor" was about an hour away, and Vasya raced home to change. She certainly didn't expect to get stuck in traffic on the way back, and now she had no choice but to sit in the stuffy taxi, nervously tapping her fingers on her clutch, and listen to the chatter of the DJ from the new radio station "Bravo," who had replaced her beloved "I Got Love" by Miyagi & Andy Panda.
"For those who haven't heard the news yet, on Tuesday at 9:00 PM sharp, Stas Wetzel's show 'Avid Movie Buff' will premiere on our radio waves. I have only seconds left of my broadcast. I, Roman Nadezhny, am saying goodbye to you until tomorrow. I wish you a pleasant Saturday evening in good company, as I intend to do myself -
my way leads to a bar, and yours to
'My Way' performed by Calvin Harris. I'm handing over to my colleague Leo Morozov. Arrivederci!"
"Look at them, making up silly pseudonyms!" exclaimed the taxi driver, an elderly man with comically bristling mustaches and an inexhaustible penchant for monologue. "Some Schnitzel, just like a Fritz. At least the other one, Nadezhny
[1], has a Russian surname. Do you like 'Bravo'?"
"Well, yes," Vasilisa breathed, slightly bewildered by the absurd question.
It was the only youth radio station in the city. It had only appeared a month ago, but it had already gained mega-popularity among the residents of Emerald Island: they listened to it at home, at work, at gym, during lectures, and on public transport, and some of the "Bravo" staff had even managed to acquire crowds of fans.
"I don't think it'll last long," the taxi driver continued. "The radio will work until autumn, and then poof, it'll be gone, no more 'Bravo.' It's all about the elections! Kazakov just wants to bribe the youth this way, so you vote for him."
Vasilisa understood what he meant. These fruits of a secret plan had long been discussed by the residents of Emerald Island. The governor of the region, Stepan Kazakov, who had previously made a fortune in oil, was running for a second term in September and had already begun preparations for the upcoming battle: he hired a group of Moscow public relations specialists, awarded apartments and "Oka" cars to veterans of the Great Patriotic War, began organizing concerts by Russian pop stars in the central square of the city, opened a radio station, and soon, it was rumored, planned to launch a television channel with the same name, "Bravo."
This topic ignited a spark within Vasya. Deciding to follow in her father's footsteps, she enrolled in the journalism faculty. Vladimir Gromov, however, showed his daughter no favoritism. He was known as the strictest dean, a man who never accepted bribes and refused to acknowledge any family connections in the workplace. Within the university walls, his daughter was simply another student, treated by Vladimir Yakovlevich with the same severity as everyone else, often held to an even higher standard. Consequently, none of Vasya's classmates envied her. On the contrary, they sympathized, especially when her father began nearly every seminar with the words, "I believe Gromova would like to answer the questions on the topic we covered."
A love for journalism seemed woven into Vasilisa's very DNA. She was constantly on the hunt for a captivating subject for her next blog post. The discussion about the upcoming gubernatorial elections certainly piqued Vasya's interest, but the words of DJ Nadezhny left a sour taste in her mouth—something in his rambling had stirred a troubling thought, only to vanish without a trace, mockingly waving its tail in farewell. Something he'd said had irked her. But what exactly?
Vasilisa bit her lower lip and frowned, straining to concentrate and grasp the fleeting thought. The effort contorted her face into a rather comical expression. The taxi driver, catching her reflection in the rearview mirror, chuckled and continued his monologue.
"Ugh, now I'm hungry after hearing about that Schnitzel! I could really go for some chicken with mashed potatoes and a fresh cucumber salad! Couldn't he have picked a normal stage name? They make up all sorts of nonsense, these liars!"
"Why do you assume they're making it up? My great-grandmother had that last name. Maria Wetzel," Vasilisa retorted, glancing once more at the time displayed on her phone, which she nervously twisted in her hands, silently praying for the traffic jam to dissipate.
Suddenly, the girl slapped her forehead.
"I'm such an idiot!"
Roman Nadezhny had mentioned a new project by one Stas Wetzel.
"'Avid Movie Buff'!" He hadn't even bothered to change the name, the jerk!
Just the other day, when a May downpour had generously drenched the city and the invigorating post-rain smells enveloped the evening streets, her friend Belka had come over to her place before Daniella's bachelorette party, so they could get dolled up together for the celebratory evening. During a coffee and pastry break in the living room, Belka had pulled a folder out of her backpack with a satisfied look on her face.
"Did you hear the radio announcement about the casting call? They need presenters with their own projects! I've written something up here. I want to run into an acquaintance from 'Bravo' at the club and show it to him."
"Ha! With an acquaintance?" Vasya teased. "We know, we know what kind of acquaintance! Dimochka Markin - your new admirer."
"Ugh, we're just talking, not dating!" Belka playfully swatted her hand with the folder.
"And you want to lug that folder to the club?" Daniella asked, curious. "You could just send the file to this Dima on Telegram, VK, or email."
"I prefer to share secret projects the old-fashioned way, I'm all about old school, so as not to leave a trace," their friend replied matter-of-factly. "Listen! The title is 'Die-Hard Movie Buff.' Here's the project concept and the script for the pilot episode. It's a game. The caller is asked questions from the world of cinema about films, directors, actors, and film companies, and they're given four multiple-choice answers. Five questions for each person. If the player answers three out of five, they get the chance to request their favorite song and give a shout-out on the air, and if they answer all the questions, they're rewarded with movie tickets for two. What do you think?"
"Belka, it's amazing! 'Bravo' will snatch you up in a heartbeat!" the twins replied in unison.
But the bachelorette party was a resounding success, so much so that the "movie buff-ess" managed to lose her precious folder, without even having a chance to show it to that "acquaintance" from the radio station. Apparently, someone had the good fortune to find Belka's project that evening, and the person didn't hesitate—instead of contacting the author using the provided contact information, the idea thief Stas Wetzel showed up at the casting call and was now planning to become the new star of "Bravo" instead of Belka!
The outraged Vasilisa intended to sort out this blatant story of her friend's stolen project as soon as possible, restore justice, and punish the brazen thief. But that would come later. For now, she was only concerned with one thing—making it to her sister's wedding on time.
She was fifteen minutes late and was deeply touched by Daniella's act of stubbornly waiting for her to arrive at "Prince Igor."
After the solemn part of the ceremony, the newlyweds took their places at a separate table, and the hungry guests, at last, began to enjoy the festive meal with true delight.
Vasilisa settled in among the younger crowd, where her older brother, twenty-two-year-old Taras, a university graduate, held sway. She knew almost everyone present, including the groom's side, and she had even become friends with his cousin, Maxim Tabakov, over the past year.
Their mutual friend, Andraníka, was the one who brought them together. Last year, Vasilisa desperately needed material about an athlete for "Ostrovok"
[2], the local newspaper she'd just begun freelancing for, and Nika had suggested her neighbor.
Max, without a doubt, had a connection to the world of sports. He'd once been hailed as a future football star, participated in the Russian Youth Championship, and even attracted interest from Premier League clubs. Maxim was the only local player on the "Bravo Tigers" team, whose president was none other than the current governor, Stepan Kazakov. The rest of the players had been hired for exorbitant salaries from those same capital city clubs.
Maxim's career had been skyrocketing, but then came the fateful accident that forced him to relearn how to walk. Football was a closed chapter forever, and now Max was studying international business and business administration at MGIMO university in Moscow.
He had also spent the previous May holidays in his native Emerald Island, and at Andranika's request, agreed to give an interview to her friend. Initially, Maxim hadn't been thrilled about talking to the press, but when he learned that the aspiring journalist Vasilisa was the twin sister of his brother Kirill's girlfriend, he gave in to the persuasion.
And he was glad he did. The interview turned out brilliantly. The editor praised Vasilisa, and she proudly emailed Max scanned pages of the newspaper. Maxim, who by then had returned to Moscow, responded by sending her a bouquet and a thank-you note to the editorial office.
During summer vacation, they often crossed paths in the same group of friends with Daniella and Kirill. Then Max went back to study in the capital, and a correspondence began on VKontakte
[3], sometimes blossoming into late-night heart-to-hearts on Telegram. But no matter how much Danya nudged them towards a more romantic relationship, her sister and her boyfriend's cousin remained just friends.
Before Vasilisa and Max could even exchange joyful greetings, a short, plump man who had crossed into his fourth decade appeared on the very same podium where Daniella Gromova had transformed into Tabakova. His small eyes, set in a shiny face with a smug grin, looked at the guests haughtily, as if he were a king appearing before a crowd of his subjects, while his ridiculous black and white striped suit, in which he probably imagined himself as a tough gangster, looked more like pajamas.
"Ha! And what kind of fruit is this?" Vasilisa blurted out.
At that moment, the gangster spoke into the microphone, and her bewildered exclamation, drowned out by the booming voice from the speakers, was only heard by those who were sitting near her at the table.
"That's Dolgonosov - the wedding jester, or rather, the master of ceremonies. No wedding in the city is complete without him," someone from the guys explained with a laugh.
Vasilisa watched in horror as Dolgonosov sparkled with flat jokes and brazenly dragged guests onto the stage to participate in his ridiculous contest.
"When I get married, there definitely won't be a master of ceremonies at my wedding!" she declared.
"I doubt you'll ever have a wedding at all," her sarcastic brother Taras chuckled. "There isn't a fool in the whole wide world who would want to marry a crazy person like you!"
"Ha! Quite the contrary! No girl would marry a fool like you, even if they were offered a sack of gold coins. Got it?"
"And what's new with you, Miss Ha?" Maxim interjected into their conversation, preventing an impending quarrel. "How's your theater doing? By the way, why aren't the girls here?"
He meant her friends from the "Ariel" fashion theater, where Vasilisa had worked since her school days.
"The girls are on tour in St. Petersburg, they'll be back the day after tomorrow," she grabbed a plate and piled a mountain of snacks and salads on it. "Mmm, I'm so hungry!... Only Nika stayed for the wedding, she should be here soon. Nika couldn't miss such an event, we've been friends since childhood."
"I thought you met Andranikа at the theater," Max said, surprised, pouring wine into her glass.
"No, Nika and I have been friends since the fifth grade. We even prepared for the 'Ariel' casting together at her house - we cranked up the music in the attic, put on her mom's stilettos, and hobbled around in them, imagining ourselves on the catwalk surrounded by photographers. We were fourteen."
"I'd give a lot to fly back in time and see that show!" Maxim laughed.
"Buddy, come visit us at home sometime, we have a ton of discs with that kind of stuff," Vasilisa's brother chuckled.
Max had known Andranika since childhood, ever since her family moved into the house next door in the exclusive "Laguna" cottage village. Back then, he had been most struck by the girl's strange name. Now he knew that she had been named after the male Armenian doctor who had literally saved her life during a difficult birth. At first, her parents wanted to simply name her Nika, after the Goddess of Victory, because their little girl had managed to defeat Death itself, but then they decided to immortalize their gratitude to the doctor, Andranik Karenovich, with a similar name, Andraníka.
Max had watched this fair-haired girl with chubby cheeks grow into a long-legged beauty who loved to sunbathe by the pool with a laptop on her knees, constantly typing something. How many times had friends visiting him asked him to introduce them to the mysterious girl from the neighboring yard, but each time Nika politely refused to participate in his parties, citing her busy schedule. She was too absorbed in writing her mystical detective stories to waste time on the company of noisy idlers, who, in retaliation for her lack of interest in them, nicknamed her the robot Android.
Max listened with a growing sense of wonder as he heard the story of how Vasilisa and Andranika had met almost a decade ago, when his neighbor transferred to a new gymnasium and found herself in the same class as the Gromov twins. Two kindred spirits, both with an adventurous streak, had found each other, as if Fate itself had gifted them this chance encounter. By their senior year, the friends had rightfully earned the title of the Wildest Girls in school.
"Guys, isn't it Koza-Dereza
[4]?" Taras exclaimed, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Dyed her hair red, has she?! Or is that a wig again?"
For years, he had teased his sisters' friend Andranika, whose last name was Kozachuk
[5], with that nickname, and every time he did, he couldn't help but burst into laughter, as delighted as a child who had just come up with the joke.
Vasilisa turned to see Andranika standing in the restaurant doorway, a lavish bouquet of flowers and a gift box clutched in her arms. The last time they'd seen each other, just yesterday, Nika had sported sleek, golden-brown hair, but now a mane of fiery, unruly red curls cascaded over her bare shoulders. Dressed in a turquoise evening gown that accentuated her delicate tan and her bottomless, sea-green eyes with their alluring haze, her friend looked absolutely breathtaking.
Andranika apologized for being late, congratulated the newlyweds, and scanned the restaurant in search of her friend.
"Over here!" Vasilisa waved, just as something wet spread across her dress.
"Oops, sorry!"
Taras, distracted by the sight of Nika, had accidentally knocked over a glass of wine onto his little sister, who stared in horror at the large, dark-red stain spreading across her golden silk dress.
"Oh, thank you so much! I was 'dreaming' about going home to change for the second time in an hour!" Vasilisa's lips pouted in a way that made her look like a spoiled little girl on the verge of tears.
She jumped up from her chair, forgetting that Andranika was approaching from behind. Her friend reflexively recoiled, and then, losing her balance on her high heels, crashed to the floor.
"You girls just can't seem to avoid trouble!" Max couldn't help but laugh as he helped his neighbor to her feet. "If you only knew how much I've missed you two!"
"Those two hens belong in a circus, charging admission," Taras remarked with a sneer.
"Oh, shut up!" Nika retorted, brushing off her dress, a flush of embarrassment creeping up her face under the amused gazes of the guests.
"Why were you late?" Vasilisa asked.
"Overslept. I went to bed just before dawn and didn't hear my alarm. Or your calls, either. I barely managed to get up."
"Have you heard on the radio about 'The Avid Movie Buff'? We need to find that scumbag Stasik Wetzel immediately!"
"Belka's 'Avid Movie Buff'? On the radio?!" Her friend's eyes widened in surprise.
"Her game starts on Tuesday at 9 PM, but it's being hosted by some Stas Wetzel. We need to find out who this smart aleck is and kick his butt so he doesn't dare plagiarize again. I checked social media while I was in the taxi, but I couldn't find any Stas Wetzel."
"Don't you know that..." Max exclaimed in surprise, but he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence.
Taras interrupted him, noticing the bride and her bridesmaid, whom they had both attended the academy of veterinary medicine with, approaching their table. Leaping from his chair, he clapped his hands together with exaggerated fervor.
"Oh, look who it is! Our precious bride has arrived!"
Vasilisa, eyebrows raised, turned to Andranika.
"Ha! What's gotten into him? Where's all this energy coming from?"
Andranika mirrored Vasilisa's puzzled expression, her eyes lingering on the guy's overly enthusiastic welcome.
Daniella, a weary smile playing on her lips, beckoned them closer.
"Ladies, would you mind joining me for a quick trip to the powder room?"
Covering a wine stain on her dress with a napkin, Vasya nodded and fell into step beside the bride. Her fingers danced across her phone screen, summoning an Uber while her mind wrestled with a more pressing dilemma: which dress to change into next.
It wasn't until they were safely ensconced within the sterile, mirrored confines of the restroom, far from the prying eyes and well-meaning smiles, that Daniella finally allowed her carefully constructed facade to crumble.
"Girls, you won't believe it," she began, her voice a weary sigh. "We just got here, and I'm already exhausted by the guests! I don't even know half of them! And they just keep coming and coming with congratulations, and I have to listen to each one and thank them for their gift. This isn't the wedding I wanted at all, but you can't argue with Kirill's dad. He cares more about what people think. How can Tabakov's only son get married and have a wedding with less than three hundred people? 'What a *sha-a-ame!'" she mocked, mimicking her new father-in-law's booming voice.
Andranika squeezed Daniella's hand.
"Hold on, Dan’ka! At least the day after tomorrow, you and Kirill will be strolling through Paris."
"Finally, your dream is coming true!" Vasilisa declared, dabbing a napkin with water. She started scrubbing at the wine stain, then paused, realizing she should probably consult Google on how to save a silk dress first.
"What are you doing?!" her sister exclaimed, swatting Vasilisa's hand away. "You're making it worse! You need to try lemon juice or a vinegar solution first."
It was no surprise that Daniella knew this. Unlike her somewhat clumsy twin, she was known as a true homemaker and a jack-of-all-trades. She cooked with such skill that second helpings were inevitable, knitted luxurious sweaters, and created tablecloths and curtains that were striking in their originality and beauty. Kirill was incredibly lucky to be marrying such a resourceful and talented girl.
As for Vasilisa, she was all thumbs. “Your hands grew out of the wrong place,” her brother Taras liked to say. She blamed her father, who had given her that name in honor of his childhood friend Vas’ka, as he had promised him in his youth. Her mother, who had managed to save her firstborn from being named Vasily, had intended to name the twins Daniella and Isabella, but her husband, determined to keep his word, insisted on equality—they would name one girl as she wished, and the second would have the name he chose. So she became Vasilisa, and, as if following the principle of " How to ship call, so it will float," she grew up to be a real tomboy, a hooligan Vas’ka.
"Are you going to catch the bouquet?" Daniella asked. "I'll deliberately throw it in your direction so that Kirill's annoying cousins don't get it."
"God forbid! Don't even think about throwing it at us!" Andranika laughed. "We're doing just fine being free for now. If you throw the bouquet at us, Vasya and I will run in opposite directions."
Vasilisa nodded in agreement.
"Ha! We are birds of free flight, so let your bouquet fly right past us."
"What about that photographer you've been dating?" her sister reminded her.
"Oh, we're just hanging out for now. Besides, he left for Moscow today for some exhibition. And he's definitely not the one I'd catch a bouquet for."
"Well, it's up to you, picky ones! Listen, doesn't it seem like this weird entertainer in pyjamas is about to get drunk soon? That's when it'll really be 'What a sha-a-ame!'" Daniella mimicked her father-in-law again, eliciting laughter from her friends.
[1] Nadezhny in Russian means ‘reliable’, ‘trustworthy’.[2] Ostrovok means a small island.[3] VKontakte is Russian social network, like Facebook (Instagram and Facebook social networks owned by Meta Platforms Inc. were declared extremist by the Tverskoy Court of Moscow on March 21, 2022 and banned in Russia).[4] Koza-Dereza is a character from Russian, Belarusian and Ukrainian fairy tales. It’s a goat who is a bully and a liar.[5] Here is a reference from KOZAchuk to KOZA-Dereza.